Afrighartz Chronicles

 The idea for this piece came to me after watching a short quote on TikTok. The creator listed five things about women and standards and how unwise it is for a woman of standard to chase after a man. And while I liked what she said, something in me disagreed. So I shared my thoughts in a comment, and this is what you are reading. What is Standard Sometimes, when you think about it, standards aren’t about pride or ego; they’re about knowing oneself. S o, h aving standards doesn’t mean refusing to seek a man’s attention .  And  knowing  what you want  doesn ’ t mean letting go blindly — we let go what's not worthy of our time, effort, and energy . Does a woman with standards chase? Sometimes, a woman with standards may choose to pursue a man she believes holds greater values than herself because only a truly self-aware woman knows when to humble herself to meet someone on her level. For that matter, we shouldn’t assume that chasing a man means a woman lacks standa...

When it comes to relationships, the heart often sees what the mind tries to ignore. But emotional intelligence demands that we slow down, pay attention, and protect our peace. True love does not come wrapped in pain, confusion, or control. It feels safe, empowering, and clear. Below are some of the signs every woman should take note of, backed by psychology and written with the intention to inform, not to frighten. 1. Beware of a Man Who Thrives on Your Past Pain A man who truly loves you won’t interrogate you about your past relationships just to feed his curiosity or trigger emotional reactions. If he seems entertained by your wounds, take a step back and reflect. This is not love. It’s emotional sadism. Psychological Insight: Studies have linked such behavior to narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies, where emotional manipulation becomes a tool for control (Paulhus & Williams, 2002). 2. Lack of Genuine Attraction If a man needs external stimulation, like erotic content, to b...

Often, people misunderstand and misuse the words control and submission. Many assume that, for a woman to be submissive, she must allow herself to be controlled. However, the definition behind such perception is flawed. To some women, the word control sounds oppression, while to some men, submission represents order and respect. But beyond these cultural assumptions, both carry deeper meanings. True submission is rooted in trust and that is, "I submit to you, because I believe in your guidance." And genuine control on the other hand, is not domination but responsibility and that is "I lead you because I understand your boundaries, and value your emotional safety. Submission: Submission is the act of surrendering power to another. Not out of weakness but out of trust.  A woman's willingness to submit is a form of humbleness, understanding that she can not compete with the one she chooses to follow. However, surrendering her power does not mean she should be taken for ...

 On June 15, 2025, something happened in class that stirred thoughts too important to ignore. Our class representative, after being wished a Happy Father’s Day, casually remarked that “ladies should be advised because when men talk, they also talk back.” That was his version of humor or perhaps a quiet echo of a deeper, troubling belief. Thankfully, our instructor addressed it calmly and wisely: “That’s what we call communication. Otherwise, the man will feel bored.” And she was right, deeply right. The Quiet Harm Behind the Joke What’s concerning is not just the comment itself, but the mindset it reveals: a belief that when men speak, women should stay silent, suggesting that communication in a relationship should be one-sided and that a woman speaking up is somehow inappropriate. But all these ideas are not just outdated but harmful to the health of families and societies at large. Marriage Is Like Busine...